Principles to beat stress
3 Principles for beating stress.
Seek only to control what is in your control.
Strive to see the world as realistically and accurately as possible.
Complete the Stress Response Cycle.
Seek only to Control What is in Your Control
Here is a universal truth: most of the things that happen to us are actually beyond our control. Outside forces determine so many parts of life and are often circumstantial, whether it be timing, communication or someone else’s decision.
What we can control is our reactions to events. It may seem like a bummer, but focusing on what we fear may happen or what we want to happen will ultimately yield little to no results.
Instead, look at it this way: our reactions are the only thing that really matters. Our internal State of Mind is the most powerful predictor of how we feel, what we feel and how well we will perform. When we accept that the world consists of tons of stuff beyond our control (both good and bad), we can then focus on what is actually within our power. Our own state of mind.
Mindfulness around our state of mind means responding to things by thinking critically, being disciplined in looking for other perspectives and embracing them, and checking in with ourselves.
Strive to see the world as realistically and accurately as possible
In the search for a balanced state of mind, it is also critical to see the world for what it is, rather than how we wish it might be. In order to see what is inside of our control, we must see the world realistically. How we perceive events in the world around us - as either threats or challenges - will determine their impact on us. We grow from challenges; they are actually a necessity of a life well lived. Challenges provide a way to test ourselves to access personal growth, accomplishment, engagement and meaning.
We also need adversity in our lives. Adversity gives us juxtaposition against the pleasurable moments of ease, allowing us to grow and appreciate the value of the work we do. Like it or not, life is about growing and expanding: when we stop growing, we start dying. I challenge you to engage with those adverse events, and keep your eye on your resources. How can you gain new skills and increase your own personal growth? When you begin, it will be one of the most profoundly satisfying experiences.
On the other hand we tend to react to threats with conditioned patterns of behavior that tend not to serve in the long run. Perceiving a threat usually creates strong emotional reactions which tend to cloud our judgement.
Complete the Stress Response Cycle.
We exist in this world and the world exists in us, i.e., all the external things that happen to us get internalized by emotions. Those emotions then determine our physiological responses, which in turn impact all aspects of our health. We will always experience stressors: they are an unavoidable part of life. A stressor is a threat or challenge, real or implied, to the psychological or physiological integrity of an individual. The feeling of stress is the way our body responds to outside stressors. The impact of this response adds up in our bodies in ways that can create physical, psychological and social change and eventually damage our health. This response is natural and unavoidable and part of a cycle. Like all cycles, it has a beginning and an end. If we don’t complete this cycle, it’s common to end up feeling burned out, overwhelmed, disconnected and helpless - we call these stress injuries. A common pitfall is for us to deal with the stressor, ie. finding a solution to our problem without addressing the stress response.
We complete the stress response cycle by
Moving our bodies. Exercise in any form - walking, dancing, laughing or an intense workout. This metabolizes the stress chemicals in our bodies and signals our brain we are taking effective action. We evolved moving - it’s critical to all aspects of our health - physical, psychological and social.
Connecting with our emotional response. Accepting our response as natural and normal without judgement with the goal of putting it into context. This requires talking or writing about your experiences. Without going into detail - talking and writing are fundamentally different than thinking because they recruit more areas of our brain and our body, allowing us to integrate our experience into a new self versus futilily attempting to deny or isolate our experience (Sounds like a topic for a future blog post).
Relating with others. We are social animals. Being in the supportive presence of others quiets our nervous system - signaling that we are no longer under threat.
To recap:
Seek only to control what we can control (our reactions and prospective).
Strive to see the world as realistically as possible (the world is full of things and events beyond our control), embracing this reality allows our so that our response to adversity is decreased.
Complete the stress response that our body is having by moving our body very regularly and connecting with others This final piece builds resilience by viscerally teaching us we have the power and resources to respond to adversity in a productive way. Knowing we have a reliable system to work stress through our body builds a resilient state of mind. One that knows we don’t have to avoid stressors but that acceptance and engagement facilitates growth and new found abilities.
