What I Learned Coming Back from the Edge
I’ve seen some of the most awful shit you can imagine.
And I’m not saying that for shock value—I’m saying it because it matters. Because stress injuries, trauma, and burnout aren’t just “in your head.” They’re real. They live in your nervous system, in your sleep, in your thoughts, in your relationships, in the space between who you are and how you’re functioning.
And I’ve worked my way back from that.
Not perfectly. Not all at once. But back to mental health, back to meaning, and back to being able to thrive—not just survive.
What Got Me Through
What I’ve learned through all of it is this: your state of mind is one of the most powerful tools you’ve got. It's a lever you can actually pull. You don’t control the world, but you canchoose where you focus your attention. You can train your thoughts and shift your emotional state. And over time, those shifts become traits.
What I came to believe—what I know now—is that we have to move toward:
Self-awareness over autopilot
Self-regulation over reactivity
Connection over isolation
Intention over distraction
Most people think external circumstances drive their well-being. But what’s underneath a good life isn’t luck or even success—it’s your foundation.
What That Foundation Looks Like
The strongest base I’ve found is built from these five things:
Positive emotions (and knowing how to generate them)
Engagement (deep involvement in something meaningful)
Relationships (genuine, not performative)
Meaning (having a "why" that makes struggle worthwhile)
A sense of accomplishment (not just achievement—earned progress)
If that sounds familiar, it’s because it comes from the research on human flourishing. But it’s not just academic—it’s real life.
Where It Starts: Core Values
If you want to create that kind of life, it starts with getting clear on your core values. Not the ones you think you should care about. The ones that make you feel alive and aligned.
Core values help you:
Decide where to put your energy
Say no without guilt
See meaning in struggle
Avoid drifting into other people’s expectations
And when you’re clear on your values, you can start to build those five foundations—not reactively, but intentionally.
What Gets in the Way (And What to Do About It)
We’ve all got mental habits that keep us stuck. Here are a few that wreck progress:
Black-and-white thinking
Catastrophizing
All-or-nothing mindsets
These are thinking traps. And the brain’s negativity bias makes it even harder—we’re wired to scan for danger and remember the bad more than the good.
The counterweight? Gratitude. Not toxic positivity. Just small, regular doses of recognizing what isworking. What’s good. What’s enough. What you still have.
Change Happens in Small Steps
It’s tempting to look for a single breakthrough. A moment that fixes everything. But real growth comes from repetition. From showing up and choosing the more skillful response, again and again.
Even when it’s boring. Especially when it’s hard.
You don’t control the outcome. You never did. But you do control how you engage with the process. And if you make that your focus—your process, your presence, your practice—you’ll reclaim something way more powerful than certainty:
You’ll reclaim your agency.
