Autonomy, Competence, and Meaning in Valued Living
Flourishing means more than getting by—it’s about thriving in a way that feels meaningful and fulfilling. Let’s dive into three core ingredients of flourishing: autonomy, competence, and meaning—and how they fuel what I call valued living.
1. Autonomy: Living Life on Your Terms
Autonomy is the power to choose your path based on what truly matters to you—not just following someone else’s script.
Why It Matters: When your choices are guided by core values, autonomy becomes self-respect in action. If you value integrity, for example, autonomy might look like speaking up even when it’s tough.
How to Strengthen It:
Pause and ask: “Is this my choice, or am I just trying to keep the peace or meet expectations?”
Protect your time and energy: Say no when it doesn’t align. Make space for what does.
Take small leaps: Test-drive more aligned choices—whether it’s a conversation, a new habit, or dropping what’s not working.
2. Competence: Getting Better at What Matters
Competence is about feeling capable, improving over time, and growing in ways that matter to you.
Why It Matters: It’s more satisfying to improve in areas that reflect your values. If growth is one of yours, building competence could mean setting learning goals or tackling new challenges.
How to Strengthen It:
Start small and specific: Define success in your terms, whether it’s a fitness target, a skill, or a mindset shift.
Track the wins: Progress builds momentum. Celebrate the small stuff—it matters.
Ask for feedback: The right feedback can sharpen your edge. Look for honesty, not perfection.
3. Meaning: Connecting to a Bigger Why
Meaning is about doing things that matter beyond the moment. It’s the "why" behind your actions and how they contribute to something larger than yourself.
Why It Matters: When actions reflect your values—say, compassion or service—they create a deeper sense of fulfillment. It’s less about checking boxes, more about feeling aligned.
How to Strengthen It:
Get clear on your “why”: What fuels your sense of purpose? Relationships? Helping others? Creating?
Build value-aligned rituals: Daily or weekly practices—gratitude, reflection, contribution—help meaning stick.
Bring purpose to your work: Whether it’s your job or your side projects, connect them to something you care about.
The Sweet Spot: Valued Living
When autonomy, competence, and meaning are aligned with your core values, you’re not just functioning—you’re flourishing. Valued living isn’t about chasing success or avoiding failure. It’s about living a life that’s authentic, satisfying, and connected to what really matters.
Try This:
Review your week: Did your choices reflect autonomy, growth, and meaning?
Course correct if needed: Even one values-based choice can shift your momentum.
Stay adaptable: Your values may evolve—and so should your actions.
The Bottom Line
Flourishing means living in alignment with who you are and what you stand for. It's not about nailing it every day—it’s about showing up, making intentional choices, and letting your values shape how you live.
Small steps. Aligned choices. A life that feels like yours.
